6

Depression 

No one in their right state of mind would brag about being depressed.
People who truly experienced depression could only talk about it once they felt they had already overcome it. 

A person in that dingy phase does not wear depression like a medal. 

He does not carry it like a trophy. 

He does not talk about it as easily as what they had for lunch. 

Depression is far worse than sadness. 

It is not just a mere word.

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RixThots: Kick Her While She’s Down

Go ahead. Keep looking at all the flaws. 

Find every single speck of imperfection. 

Every shrapnel of her fucked up being. 

Let your tongue go flailing in the air, 

shooting fiery words to burn her. 

Go ahead. 

She knows you’re doing it to flaunt your perfect nature. 

Oh she knows… 

She knows… 

How flawless you are. 

How high….

How great…

She looks up to you highly.

From where she is,

To where you are.

Night and day. 

Grease and water. 

No one else can see the line that separates you and her but she. 

But you don’t damn care.

You enjoy holding the leash.

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Kabataan vs Nakatatanda

Walang masama kung makikinig ang kabataan sa nakatatanda. Sa lawak ng kanilang karanasan at sa dami ng nakita, walang masama ang minsang paglaan ng tainga sa kanilang mga payo. Ano ba ang mga nakita mo kumpara sa mga nasaksihan ng kanilang mga lumalabo nang mga mata? Ano na ba ang mga nasaksihan mo, bukod sa apat na sulok ng kuwarto mo? Sa apat na sulok ng iyong silid-aralan? Sa komportableng kumot na isinakripisyo ng nanay mo? Ginawin na siya, huwag ka lang. 
Hindi kailanman magkakaroon ng di-pagkakaunawaan ang mga bata at matanda, kung sana ang mga matatandang nakasama nila mula sa unang pagmulat ng kanilang mga mata ay nabigyan sila ng sapat na pagmamahal, panahon, at atensyon. Kung sana lumaki silang may bukas na komunikasyon at magandang pagtitinginan sa ilalim ng iisang bubungan, mataas ang posibilidad na lalaking marunong makinig at pumailalim sa autoridad ang mga kabataang sarili lamang ang nauunawaan.
Hindi dahil may edad na ako, kaya ko sinasabing alam ko. Pero dahil sa mura kong edad, at maging sa pagsuway ko sa magulang ko, marami akong nakita at nakilala na hindi kailanman makikita’t makikilala ng mga taong salat sa karanasan at makitid na utak. 
Maaga akong tumanda. Kaya sa pagtanda ko’y nakadama ako ng panghihinayang. Panghihinayang sa mga bagay na nagawa ko sana noong mas malakas pa ang resistensya ko, noong mas matibay pa ang mga buto ko, noong mataas pa ang enerhiya ko, at noong mas may pagkakataon ako.
Sa kabila naman nito, wala akong panghihinayang. Dahil ito nga ang bumuo sa pagiging si “Rikatrina” ko. Kaya nga payo ko sa mga nakababata, huwag madaliin ang mga sarili. Huwag pabilisin ang pagtanda. Walang mawawala kung uunahin ninyo ang paghulma ninyo sa magandang kinabukasan. Pero wala rin namang masama kung susuungin ninyo ang hamon ng tunay na buhay. Para sa huli, sasabihin mo na lang din ang nasabi ni Armi: “Sana’y nakinig na lang ako sa nanay ko.” 😉

-rix012216

4

The Hands and The Tile Mosaic

Imagine a stack of plain squared tiles…Boring. Nothing special. Just. Plain. Boring.
Then one day, the boring tiles were shattered into many smaller pieces. Kept away by people who thought they were already useless. ‘Broken tiles wouldn’t look good on the floor,’ they thought. So the broken boring tiles sat there, under the dirty damp kitchen sink, feeling sorry for being useless. 

Well, they weren’t entirely useless though. Those broken boring tiles could still be used anyway. Some people would randomly put the pieces on the wall. ‘Maybe,’ they thought, ‘we could be on a wall, too.’

The sun rose and set. The moon appeared and went away. Days and nights had passed, but the broken boring tiles remained under the sink… Accompanied by the spider that laid an egg, the cockroaches that quickly multiplied, the moldy, filthy plumbings which needed fixing, and some ants that are starting to build a colony.

Then one day… One beautiful day… The small curtain that covered the plumbings in the kitchen, swayed open, flushing the darkness and the dampness with light and warmth.

A pair of hands took the broken tiles out of their moldy bed. ‘At last!’ they thought. They could breathe fresh air again.

Piece by piece, the hands put the tiles together. ‘What the heck was he doing?’ the tiles thought. Although the pieces were adhered by the grout, they remained broken and will forever be broken.

The hands continued working on the pieces until every single one was put in place. Finally, the broken tiles realized what was going on.

Though they were still broken, they were turned into a beautiful artwork. Like a puzzle, each piece formed a shape. Creating a fantastic masterpiece. 

The broken boring tiles were still broken, yes. But they weren’t boring anymore. Once they were useless, ignored and replaced. Until the right person saw their worth and made them wonderful again.

Thank you for making a masterpiece.

-rix 01.12.16

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Who is “ME”?

I have always wondered why there is “Me”… Why there is “me” behind these eyes. Someone you can see, but I can’t. Do you feel the same? Do you see the same things I see? Why are we humans? Why are we alive? Why am I alive? 

Although we all have similar physical attributes, each one of us remains different from one another. Each person is a different “me”. When they say, “Be yourself”, who IS yourself? Why is it then, when we say we are being ourselves, others still think we aren’t. 
Who IS “ourselves”?

Who is “me”?

Who is this person behind these eyes? 

Underneath this tanned skin.

Covered in a mass of fats and flaws.

Crowned with this bushy tangled hair.

Whose thoughts are these, talking to me from inside my head?

Who is “me?”

  
-rix 12.26.15/01.05.16

4

Misunderstood

In my entire existence on Earth, I’ve been made to believe that speaking your heart out is as bad as a crime. Although the message was indirectly passed on, it gets pretty clear that it is true. I was accused of disrespectfulness, mockery, phoniness, fault-finding, blah blah… just because I wanted to get my point across. It might have been too pressing or persistent, I guess. But then again, maybe it was because they stubbornly denied that I made a fair point.

I felt guilty all my life. I even doubted myself. Maybe, I thought, I was, indeed, a bad person after all. That maybe, I just misjudged myself every time I stopped and analyzed what had happened one particular situation. Maybe all the fairly good stuff I had done was nothing but an illusion or a dream. That because of my not-so-tamed mouth, I was hated. Looked down on. Scrutinized. Prejudiced.

But you know what the truth is? You may talk shit, but it’s always up to others if they think you talk shit. No matter what you do, no matter what you say – good or bad, if people hate you, they’ll hate you.

You may not be an angel, but not even a devil. But if people think you’re the latter, then indeed you’ll be.

-rix 12.04.15

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Rix Mukap: Budget Make-up Haul

All make-up junkies lust for the expensive brands not because they’re popular, but because the quality is superb!

However, for people who are on a tight budget, spending a lot of money on a make-up item feels like committing a crime. There are so many things to consider, especially the moms.

Anyways, here are some affordable make-up items I recently got.

Aido Cosmetics

I had my lil sister buy it for me at Watson’s. This pack only cost me P100.00 and it includes a palette with 10 eyeshadows and 2 blushes, and a lipstick. It isn’t very pigmented, but it’s quite blendable and buildable. Not bad for a hundred bucks!

   
    
     
    

   


10-piece Make-up Brush Set from E-bay

Got these beauty tools for roughly more than $7 at E-bay. I only waited for about 2-3 weeks, and the only disappointment was that I had to pay P100.00 at the post office. The brushes are soft and gentle on the skin, but they are dense enough to pick up enough product.

   

 

Koshize Nutrilips Mini Lipstick

This box of 10 mini lipsticks only cost me less than P190.00, thanks to my Sophie membership! Its original price is P280.00, but because it’s on sale in the December catalogue, you can get it for less. Buying it is practical because you get to have 10 shades for the price of 1! Cool? I know, right?!

   
   

Care to share your own affordable beauty finds?

~ rix08 ⭐️