Ang dating bagyo ay unti-unting nagiging ambon.
Hindi na kayang makapagpataob ng puno,
ni hindi makapag-usod ng dahon.
Ang noo’y kayang magpaapaw ng ilog,
ay ni hindi makapuno ng tabo,
kahit man lang sana isang
Bakit hindi mo man lang magalaw kahit ang buhangin sa daan,
samantalang noo’y kahit bahay ay napababagsak?
Wala na ang bagsik mo,
nasaan na ang tibay mo?
Kahit langgam na katiting,
‘di mo na kayang lunurin.
There she is, still on the floor. Breathing but seems lifeless. Warm tears burn her face as they move freely, while she stays still. Her hopeful self seems to fall into the darkness. The tranquility slowly transforms into an awful din. Her head is thronged with black shadows – shadows that are filled with mockery despite their faceless heads.
They have no mouths but she sees them grinning widely, from ear to ear. She wants them gone, but their presence doesn’t bother her, too. (excerpt from a piece I’m still working on)
If I stood in front of the Mirror of Erised, I wonder what I’d see. I guess, just like most wizards, I’d be tempted to just sit there and watch my wonderful self getting all the things I’ve ever wanted. I wonder if I’d even be able to stand and snap back to reality.
The universe has failed me yet again. I am nothing and will remain nothing.
People see you as a normal person. Some may like you, some may not. But they don’t know who you exactly are and what’s going on with your life.
I want to be lost in the moment. I want the world to stop for at least another twenty-four hours, when I can just lie on the floor not worrying about anything. I want to be given another day to be lost in thoughts. And when that day is gone, that’s the time I’ll start worrying again.
The odds aren’t ever in my favor. I’ve had my own series of unfortunate events. It’s always winter, despite the sweltering weather. I couldn’t get through Platform 9 3/4, maybe Dobby had to cast an enchantment to it.The universe has always refused to align its stars for me.
I go on walking, looking for the right path and aiming for the right direction. I go on walking, even if my soles are sore and shoes are worn. I go on walking, even if the roads get misty and the paths get blurry. I go on walking, with my faith undaunted and my determination unbent.
A quote says, “Those who are scared of death are scared of life.” The younger me could never comprehend why anyone would fear life as much as they feared death. I believed that if we were afraid of dying, we would hold on to life. Being a 30-year old woman myself makes me see life in a different dimension.
We, being born into this world, will all arrive at a dead end. This is a world where balance exists. Light and dark. Day and night. Hot and cold. Left and right. Front and back. Male and female. Yin and yang. Life and death. Living means dying. So if we cannot accept death, it means we cannot grasp the true meaning of life. I fear death. Now, I understand that I fear life.
When I lost my father, I was broken. But I tried to dust it off and tried to accept that he would never come back. Though it only felt like he was abroad, it crushed me when the thought that he would never return barged into my head like a thief. I comforted myself thinking that he was already in peace and without pain.
Every wake I go to reminds me of what it is like to live. Living means getting hurt. Living means dying. If we continue fearing death, we will never live peacefully because that fear will find a home in us.
I fear death. I fear life. I hope that the time will come that I will be able to welcome death like a brother. (after going to a wake)
Parang mga damit sa aparador.
Sa bawa’t pagkuha ng isa,
May madadagdag na isa.
Hanggang sa mapuno ang aparador.
Hindi na maisara ang pinto.
Siksik na siksik.